|still my favorite picture of myself :o)|
I like this new trend to pick a word of the year. Resolutions always seem to be forgotten by February. Especially if you have more than one. Listing your goals can become overwhelming and disparaging. The idea of choosing one word is much easier and in a way, more profound. It sits like an umbrella over everything you do and can make all the difference.
I'm choosing JOY this year. I'm writing about it here so that I can remember and hold myself accountable.
A few years ago I realized I had issues with anxiety. I had always been a "worry wart" but was able to manage. At this point it was becoming harder to deal with it myself so I decided to take the route of medication. This was a huge step for me as I've always had a hard time with taking any sort of pharmaceuticals. Even Tylenol for a headache. I would wait it out and deal with it rather than put some chemicals into my body. But at this point in my life I realized that it was necessary. My children and husband were suffering because of my anxiety. The meds worked and I revelled in my new outlook on life. It was like waking up. My family survived my anxiety.
Only a few short months later I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer. 2010 was full of surgeries, treatments and Dr's appointments but I was in good spirits. I was blessed with an overwhelming sense that I would get through it all okay. I mean, I knew it wasn't life threatening but it still turned my world upside down. Again, we all survived.
2011 was a different story. Regulation synthetic thyroid meds is not an easy feat. 2011 was supposed to be the year where I was "better". No more thyroid cancer = back to normal. That sense of well being was gone and I struggled to find a new normal. Paired with my anxiety there were lots of ups and downs. By the end of the year I was starting to feel better physically and emotionally but life had caught up with us.
Between hospital bills and a failing economy my husband and I faced some hard decisions. We lost our home and struggled to pay the bill. 2012 opened with a feeling of hope. That was until Feb when my husband lost his job. Seriously!? One thing after another and we stumbled our way through the year.
Don't get me wrong. We had lots, LOTS of miracles and blessings along the way. So many things to be thankful for. Life is like that. Full of ups and downs. That's why I picked this word for 2013.
My children are growing up so fast. My marriage is still in the younger years (13!). I'm not quite middle-aged. I have some amazing things in the works with my little business. I have a life to live that should be filled with positivity and not gloom and doom. There can be JOY in everything- you just have to find it. Sometimes it shows up on your doorstep without you even expecting it. Other times you have to dig in the cracks for a tiny glimmer. This year, in spite of what life may throw my direction, I'm finding JOY.